Made by Google. Hilariously.

As someone who has been an enthusiastic follower of technology for more years than I care to admit, rarely does a preview of new devices stick with me in the way that this year’s Made By Google event from New York City managed to do it. Admittedly, I don’t use Google products hardly at all. I have never had a Pixel of any kind. I don’t use Gemini practically ever. But my general disinterest in them doesn’t preclude me from following along with what they do. I talk about and follow tech, it’s my beat, so to speak.

So when the new Made by Google event was announced, I made plans to watch it. Nothing was ever the same since that fateful day. Before the event began on YouTube, they reminded you over and over again that it was going to be live from New York City. It was an endless reminder, because I guess doing a show from New York City is a huge deal? I mean it’s not like there’s whole TV networks there and countless movies set in that city. But Google is there, so… I’ll give you a moment to calm yourself from the collective excitement of that news.

Then as it began, we are treated to noted tech expert and analyst Jimmy Fallon as the host. I know many in this field look to Jimmy for guidance on the latest tech news and trends. What proceeded from there was him talking to Google bigwigs, and having some of the most awkward chemistry I’ve seen in a number of years. Whether it was showing what looked to be entirely fake Reddit posts (a la Headlines back in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno days) to him calling the audience “nerds” and professing how awesome his Pixel phone was that he’s had for two weeks, this show had it all. As a side note, no one on Reddit is as positive as those people they supposedly found for those quotes.

I would be remiss not to mention the cavalcade of influencers and celebrities, several of whom seem as uncomfortable in their body language as the actual Google employees who were with Fallon. (I’d say the crowd was all relaxed, but they were all Google employees, most likely. Luckily someone knew how to use the applause button.) Whether it was Alex Cooper or Steph Curry or the Peloton trainer, this show rolled out everyone that was likely available as Google was desperate to show everyone “Hey, we’re cool! See?”

Then we had the Jonas Brothers. I am not a fan of the Jonas siblings. I have never been one, so the fact they used a Pixel to record their latest music video meant absolutely nothing to me. I’m sure there’s a segment of the audience who was swooning, it wasn’t me. You even got to watch the video at the end of the presentation, and it made me realize Google forgot to advertise that they include autotune in the new Pixel models.

But what about the tech, Mark? You may be asking yourself. Well let me briefly cover that. So Pixel is apparently the best camera on phones ever proven by a bunch of awards that were never named. It has the best screen for any smartphone ever, as ranked by… Jim in Accounting? Gemini is going to be in everything, yay! Even your Pixel Watch if you have one or want to get one. Their watches will have round faces now, woop. The Pixel Buds Pro now have gesture control, which brings them in line with what the AirPods Pro 2 have had for some time. But I’m sure they were the best earbuds ever as ranked by… Susie in Human Resources. The coolest feature I saw on the whole show was live voice translation using the voice of whoever you’re talking with to make it more authentic. I’ll hold my hands up and say that’s pretty awesome. I assure you they aren’t going to be the sole company who offers that. Oh, Pixel will also be available in Mexico!! (Where electronics are insanely expensive.)

This event took me back to the halcyon days of spending time with my grandmother, who was always watching one of the home shopping channels. You know them, right? The ones with the hosts who are always super excited about everything. The only thing missing here was a toll free number, an item code for each device, and some kind of monthly payment option for those who want the convenience. Probably using Google Pay.

There was also the requisite shots at Apple, who pushed out an OS security update on three of their devices during the middle of the show. You know that’s going to happen when one company has 5% market share and the other almost 50%. The show end to end was among the worst tech previews I hav ever watched. But you just know there were people at Google after the show somewhere high fiving, and telling each other “Nailed it!”

I know some people in the tech industry like a live presentation, but if ever there were a show to be held up as a reason for why that needs to end, it’s this one. I can’t imagine one person who wasn’t already a Pixel uber fan who saw that event or even clips from it and got excited by what they watched. They were likely, much like the rest of us, too busy either recoiling or laughing. (I did a bit of both admittedly.)

That, dear reader, was Made by Google (in New York City, ZOMG) for 2025. While many devices were announced and new details on Gemini with them, the only device it left me longing for was the remote to my TV.

Which was not Made by Google.